如果建筑师像程序员一样工作

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亲爱的建筑师先生:

请帮我设计一所房子。我不太确定我想要的到底是什么样的一所房子,你完全可以按照你习惯的思路来设计。

房子的卧室数量在2到45个之间。你的设计方案应该是灵活可变的,可以轻易地增加或者减少卧室数量。你把设计图稿拿给我之后,我会决定到底要几个卧室的。另外,你应该把每一个方案的造价都提供给我,我好从中选择。

我最终选定的设计方案,其造价一定要低于我现在住的房子。另外,你要确保新的房子中不存在我现在这所房子的所有缺陷(现在这所房子的厨房地板老是嘎吱乱响,墙的保温和隔音效果也不理想)。

在你做设计时,记住要尽量节省房子每年的维护费用。这就是说,应该多使用一些价格较高的铝制品、乙烯树脂或者复合材料(如果你的设计中没有使用铝制品,请详细解释原因)。

房子应该有最现代化的造型,应该使用最新的建筑材料,因为我想让它成为最新的建筑理念和建筑思潮的样板房。还需要注意的是,在厨房里,一定要能摆下我那台1952年的吉布森电冰箱。

记住,你所设计的房子是为我们全家服务的。在设计之前,一定要和我们的儿子、媳妇、女儿、女婿交换意见。我岳母每年都会到我们这里住上几天,她对这所房子也很有发言权。你必须仔细权衡所有这些人的建议,然后做出正确的决定。不过,我还是要保留我对方案设计的最终决定权。

现在不要拿细枝末节问题来打扰我。你的工作是设计房子的整体结构、样式和布局,请关注宏观层面的东西。像地毯颜色之类的小问题,这会儿还不到讨论的时候。但请记住我妻子喜欢蓝颜色的地毯。

现在你也用不着去关心房屋建造的具体事宜。你首先应该把详细的工程计划和规格说明拿出来。在我批准了你的计划之后,我希望我的房子能在48小时内封顶。

你设计房子的时候,要想到很可能有一天我就把房子卖了。这所房子必须对各种潜在用户都具有吸引力。因此,在你完成设计稿之前,一定要确定我这个街区的所有居民都喜欢你的设计。

我建议你来看看我们邻居去年盖的房子。我们非常喜欢那所房子。那所房子的许多功能都是我们需要的,特别是那个75英尺长的游泳池。依你的设计经验,我相信可以在不增加造价的基础上,为我们的房子增加这么一个游泳池。

请准备一套完整的设计图稿。不一定这一次就设计得非常完善,因为这套图稿只用于建筑招标。但是,一旦出图,你就要为今后可能发生的任何导致成本增加的设计变更负责。

能够承接如此富有挑战性的工作,你一定会感到非常激动!当然,对任何新技术和新材料的选择必须要经过我的同意。在我授权的基础上,你拥有设计上的高度自由。因此,请及时把你的新想法和新计划告诉我,我相信类似的授权工作并不会太多。

另附:我妻子刚才告诉我她不同意上述大多数提法。作为一名建筑师,处理用户在需求上的分歧当然是你分内的职责。我已经非常疲倦了,没办法整理出一份统一的意见来。如果你不能妥善解决这一分歧的话,我会去找其他建筑师的。

又附:也许我需要的并不是一所房子,也许是一辆旅行挂车吧。请就此问题给我足够的建议。


原文:

Architect programmer
If architects had to work like programmers . . .


Dear Mr. Architect,

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.

My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of thses options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has.

I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularily the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

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